Re: Joke of the Day

**Christine** Ven 10 Déc - 6:23

Wily grandad

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

**Christine** Sam 11 Déc - 8:26

Whinging monk

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That's not surprising," the elders say. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."

**Christine** Lun 13 Déc - 6:21

Bear necessities

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guy says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won't help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."

**Christine** Ven 17 Déc - 6:47

Don't lie to your teacher

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tyre.
Much to their relief she smiled and said: "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said:
"First Question: Which tyre was flat?"

**Christine** Ven 17 Déc - 6:47

Church with a teacher

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?". One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

**Christine** Ven 17 Déc - 6:48

Plane crash

A small 1-seater plane crashed into a cemetery. Police have recovered 102 bodies so far and will continue to dig throughout the night.

**Christine** Ven 17 Déc - 6:48

6 7 8 9

Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9

**Christine** Lun 27 Déc - 7:24

Change of faith

Three rabbis are having dinner together; one rabbi looks troubled. He stops eating and says, "Something has been bothering me deeply. I sent my son away to learn, and he came back a Christian."

The second rabbi looks suprised, and after a moment's pause, says, "You know that's funny, because my son also went away and came back a Christian!"

The third rabbi looks really dumbfounded and stammers out, "That's funny! Because I sent my son away too, and he came back a Christian!"

So they all decide they must pray for answers.

And God answers back,

"You know that's funny, because MY son..."

**Christine** Lun 27 Déc - 7:25

Wolves and fleas

What's the difference between a wolf and a flea?
One howls on the prairie, the other prowls on the hairy.

**Christine** Lun 27 Déc - 7:25

Letter to Santa

A little boy at Christmas time is writing to Santa.

He writes, "Dear Santa, I've been a good boy all year, please can I have a bike."

Then he thinks that's not quite true, so he starts again and writes,
"Dear Santa, I've been good all week, please can I have a bike," but again he thinks it's not quite true, so he writes another letter.

This time he writes, "Dear Santa, I've been good all day, please can I have a bike." He's still not happy with it however and he thinks, 'Christmas isn't just about Santa.'
So he runs downstairs and grabs the toy Mary from the nativity set.

He takes the model back up to his room and writes a fourth letter.

"Dear Jesus, I've got your mother and if you want to see her again, send me a bike."